and this is why...

i don't like taking vacation from work. <---- i know things have really changed because i can say that and/or write it without flinching. there used to be a time when i'd take off work in a heartbeat, vacation, sick, whatever and not have a care in the world. however, in my current position i can't leave and be carefree because i'm always worried that something won't get taken care of like it would if i were there. and today i see that is so true. it was such a hectic today. i got back to work and i had 55 emails sitting in my inbox, not bad since i'd been on vacation for two days, it could've been worse. i saw things that were taken care, things that were handled but my instructions ignored, and things that didn't get taken care of. so i spent the day trying to play catch up and figure out just what was going on. ugh! i can't wait to see what my desk looks like the tuesday after thanksgiving when i return to work or the first of the year after i return from a weeklong vacation. *sigh* i don't want to work in a call center ever again if i can help it, but i can say i miss those days when i could go home and not have a care in the world about what i had to do to prepare for the next day. hopefully i can get to work very early tomorrow, knock somethings out and then get everything back to normal and caught up.

finally...

saw the tyler perry movie. i know, i'm probably the last person to see it but i wanted to wait and avoid the opening night crowds. it was such a good movie as others have said. i will definitely add this one to my dvd collection.

next up is american gangster which opens friday, nov 2nd. can't wait to see all the black star power in this movie.

i got home and watched "mr brooks" and that movie was off the hook! definitely one of the better kevin costner films i've seen in a looooooong time. if you have a chance, rent this dvd.

i also watched the fantastic 4: rise of the silver surfer. have to say that one was overrated, i'm a big fan of marvel comics. i grew up watching superfriends, spidey & friends, the fantastic 4 on saturday mornings. so when cartoons are made into movies i expect the scripts to stick to what i remember from the cartoon. that never usually happens, but i'm usually still able to enjoy the movie anyway. this was just an ok movie.

my birthday...

was nice! i want to thank everyone for all their birthday wishes. i ended up hanging out with a friend, turns out i learned a few things about about this person and we share similar personality traits. that's probably why we can't seem to get along.

sooooo, today i'm going to see why did i get married. i'm going to a matinée so hopefully the audience will be a little calmer and there'll be no talking to the screen. i hate that! i got the dvds "mr brooks" and "the fantastic 4" so i'll watch those when i get home from the movie theater.

old habits die hard...

how do you let go of someone or something that you feel doesn't have your best interest at heart? even when they bring the same old song and dance..."i'ma do better this time." hayle why couldn't you do better before? what's so different this time? why should i waste another second, minute, hour of my life dealing with you? why do i even still care?

and a question(s) for me: why do i keep allowing the same ol' isht to happen? why do i keep falling for the okey doke? i'm not stupid but i act out of a sense of trust and loyalty and it's not returned to me. i must do better!

two days and counting...

until my 35th b-day. sometimes i can't believe that i'm as old as i am. i wonder where the time went. i want to know what i've done in 35yrs that's so great and important. then i go back again to wondering where the time went and wishing that i could do it all over again and make some changes...but that's not possible so i just promise to do better.

ah well...

i decided to submit my resume for the position. i learned today that the hiring manager decided that she wouldn't interview me again. ah well. moving on. on the bright side i'll be interviewing on tuesday for a part-time auditing position that i applied for weeks ago. i got the call today and was a little shocked and excited. i really need the money to help out with little things and to put into my savings and to help pay bills.

i guess i should look at the whole thing like when one door closes another opens.

new opportunity...

today while at work my former manager emailed me to let me know that a position on her team has opened up. she told me to forward my resume to her manager and let her (former manager) know if i'm interested so she can give me a strong recommendation. wow! i applied for this position 4 weeks ago, along with my now former team lead. she got the position and i didn't. it was no big deal. i realized maybe it wasn't the right time, maybe i needed to stay put in my position for a while longer, maybe i needed to keep working on my relationship with my current team mates. so getting a heads up from jan (former manager) was unexpected. the thought of her putting in a strong word for me is even more unexpected...but makes me proud in some way to realize that she knows how hard i work at my job.

so...new position = possible pay raise + better benefits!! what am i going to do? apply? or not? i don't know (is it crazy of me to not know what to do). the obvious answer would be apply. but i'm finally starting to get along with my teammates and its been a long time coming. we would all still be working in the same area, just one different teams. i guess i should pray about it, weigh it out more and then do what feels right.

what the hell is wrong with people...

Mother Charged in the Baby's Death

Authorities Saturday found the body of a missing 11-month-old girl hidden in the attic of her Spring Lake home and later charged the child's mother in connection with the death.

The Harnett County Sheriff’s Office charged Johni Michelle Heuser, 25, with first degree murder. She was being held without bond.

Harmony Creech had been dead for three or four weeks, Harnett County Sheriff Larry Rollins announced late Saturday night.

Rollins said Heuser's three other children were placed in foster care.

Police had issued a statewide Amber Alert on Friday after Harmony's family reported her missing. The FBI helped the Harnett County Sheriff's Department, although authorities never labeled the case an abduction.

On Saturday, the mother told investigators she had found the baby dead in its crib and concealed the body in the attic of her home.

"Her reasoning for such was that she was fearful," Rollins said of the 25-year-old mother of four.

Rest of the story here: http://www.newsobserver.com/news/crime_safety/story/744362.html


i just don't understand what would make someone hurt their own child (or anyone else's for that matter). i wonder what was going through this woman's mind when she "found" her baby dead and just hid the body in the attic instead of seeking some sort of medical treatment or telling authorities or someone. it's just really sad. i want kids someday and i can't imagine ever wanting to hurt them because they are so precious.

ohmyachinghead...

somehow between monday and friday i managed to get sick...i guess it's the change in the weather around here - hot one day, cool the next, cooler at night - that got me. so my plans of going home to a cookout hosted by the sorors at st. aug got nixed. i hate that i couldn't go because i would have gotten a chance to see my ls and catch up. but, maybe next time. instead, today was a lifetime tv day. i got up took a shower and hopped right back in bed (along with tissue, breathe right strips, cold medicine and a bottle of aleve) and slept most of the day away, except for a few moments here and there. i HATE being sick. maybe this is punishment because i was going to call in sick on friday (the day b4 my b-day). maybe not. but i hope whatever it is goes away rather quickly, i really don't wanna spend next week and my b-day weekend with a stuffy nose, aching body, and sore throat.

you down with g-o-d...

over the years i know that god has definitely blessed and kept me. but now when i need him most, i feel as if i have no relationship with him. i'm someone who as a child was at sunday school and church every sunday without fail. even if my mama didn't go with us, she made my brother and i go. that lasted up until i graduated college. in all that time i learned some bible verses and listened to thousands of sermons about hell and how to avoid the pitfalls of going there. but my relationship with god never grew or matured. now as i'm getting older i wonder about my relationship with god. most people don't know this about me but i've never been baptized. i do believe in god and have accepted him but that's it. i wonder sometimes if not having a better relationship is why my life is the way it is sometimes. don't get me wrong, i'm doing better than most people, but maybe - just maybe it could be better. i know we all go through things and that having a relationship with god does not mean you're exempt from going through stuff, but that relationship will help you deal. i know what i need to do...

just tired...

this week i am so tired (physically and mentally). i don't know why. our new team member started on monday, so i've had to escort her to her conf room, get her set up with the audio equipment, logged onto her computer, etc, etc, etc. i don't mind doing that because at one point or another we've all been the new kid on the block. but i have so much to do and so little time to do it. she is supposed to sit and observe with each of us. after the first day, i had her sit with my other team mate. i mean, i'm good at what i do - don't get me wrong. but because of the team of people that i work with i don't have time to stop and explain each and every little thing. plus, i've developed some bad habits as i've gotten busier and i don't want her to pick up on those.

what i'm curious about is why this chick accepted the job. i mean she was an hr generalist. a generalist!!! those in or familiar with hr know about a generalist's role in a company. their hands are pretty much in everything hr related (recruiting, orientation, payroll, employee relations...you get the point). but she left that job to come and work with us to be basic schedulers. that's all we do all day everyday, schedule interviews for microsoft recruiters. a monkey could do the job. it's not difficult nor is it a challenge. we have all placed bets on how long she will last in the job. i hope she stays a while, but honestly once she gets the basics and is able to do the job for a while i think she'll realize what a mistake it was taking this position.

i'm so glad it's wednesday. my days are all messed up this week. i thought yesterday was wednesday but i'm glad it wasn't because with everything i have going on at work on friday i need all the extra days i can to prepare.

sbf seeking....

....is it too much to ask for a single black man to not have any children? seriously? i mean it seems like it's becoming more common these days for men who are single and never married to have a gang of kids. why!!!! that's all i want to know. i'm not being judgmental but dayum, if i don't have any kids is it too much to ask for someone that i'm interested in dating or developing a relationship with to NOT have kids? is that selfish of me? am i wrong for thinking "i have no kids, so you shouldn't either?" i know, i know, by placing this limitation on someone i may be bypassing a good man. i realize that things happen and i don't discount that fact, but this is just my opinion and it's so aggravating sometimes.

salisbury mural...

here's a partial pic of a mural that we saw while in salisbury last night.

missing...

one waistline. not sure where you went. you've been missing for a few years now and i need to know what it would take for you to return.

as a reward for your safe return i am prepared to give up the following

cakes, cupcakes, fast food, soda, late night snacks, chips, rice krispies treats, cheese (and you know i luv cheese) & anything else deemed unhealthy

i am also prepared to offer the following upon your return:

a healthier lifestyle which will include exercise, healthy eating and snacking

**please come back! i realize it's my fault that you left in the first place but i'm willing to do anything to get you back and be sexxxxy again!

random spurts...

producers of "a time to kill": i love this movie but i have one question. did ya'll poor water on samuel jackson for his role? i mean, its hot in the south, but dayum not that hot! all that sweating was just plain ol' nasty!

lady at mickey d's... you are the perfect example for the slogan "a mind is a terrible thing to waste." telling me that math wasn't your favorite subject while trying to determine how much change i would get back from the $10 that i gave you makes me so sad. i really need you to know that $10-3.79=6.21. i figured it out in my head while you were still guessing. your excuses are a cop out, it's simple addition and subtraction, i'ma need you to do better!

rowan county jazz society: thanks for a good time, we didn't stay long but it was nice to see a group of us and them together, having fun, enjoying each other without anyone starting some isht!!!

valerie with bankers casualty and life: you suckered me in to an interview thinking that i could speak to someone about an hr position with your company. then i checked your website and it mentioned nothing about this so-called career fair. i'm not stupid, i won't be there on the 29th, i don't due sales and when you call i'm gonna pick up my phone and speak spanish so you think you dialed the wrong # (hola, no habla espanol). buzz off!

14 days and counting...

til my birthday (YAY ME!)

i know what i want and will *hopefully* get it tomorrow. for months i have been drooling over the palm treo 700wx offered by sprint. but yesterday as i was checking my sprint acct i saw the new palm centro on their website. i'm in love...*sigh* it's not a big as the treo or probably not as advanced but it'll do for me (for now). here it is (in black, but also offered in red)...

arriba, arriba....

after work yesterday as i'm stuck in traffic, i get a call to see what i'm doing later on. um, nothing. all i wanna do is go home and chill b/c it was a long, hard week. but hey, i'm trying to get out and be active...so what the heck. i was told that a soror was in town and she wanted to go salsa dancing. cool, i've never salsa danced before - count me in.

let me just say, being the only 5 black women at a private mexican birthday party is NOT the isht! being the only 5 black women in a club where everyone only knows a little (and probably not that much) spanish is NOT the isht! having pedro stand up gyrating in front of you, hoping that you'll dance with him is not the isht! and avoiding eye contact with men who want to dance is not the isht! it felt like we listened to the same mexican song all night...but it wasn't the same song. my soror's friend was hilarious, but especially when she said hearing all those songs which sounded the exact same felt like she was running to the ice cream truck trying to get a chocolate eclair.

so that was my night, very out of the norm for me, but i'm trying to do some out of the norm things.

traffic nightmare...

today as i left work i got to the stop light to take my usual route (arrowwood to 77) and traffic is backed up both ways. no problem, i think to myself. i'll just take it easy til i can hop on 77N and it'll be smooth sailing...wrong! i finally get on 77 and traffic is standing still. i can't see what's going on, but here in charlotte standstill traffic is the norm. so i see this state trooper rolling down the median and think uh-oh, what have the idiot drivers done today. i started flipping through radio stations trying to find a traffic report...bingo, found one. i find out that on one side of 77 (south, which i take in the morning to work) someone had a severe case of road rage and fired shots...on my side there was serious accident and i believe 1 person was killed.

now on my way home i didn't think to much of it. but as i finally pulled up to my apt complex, it dawned on me, that i could've been in the accident or in the line of fire. i say that because today i left later than i planned to, i had planned to leave at 4:15-4:30 but i wanted to clear my inbox out and help out a co-worker with some of her stuff. god is so good, because had i left any earlier that could have been me in that accident or shot! all i can remember is fussing at work that i was ready to go home and the people i work with were getting on my nerves because they kept calling me. well, there was a reason behind all the madness and it kept me safe, protected, and out of harms way.

wally world...

aka wal-mart is the devil! seriously! i stopped in today at 6:00 to pick up something to eat tonight for dinner. i had a total of 4 items. can you tell me why in the hayle there are 22 checkout registers at the super wal-mart and only 8 registers (including the self checkouts) were open????

as i get ready to check out, i pass by checkout lanes filled with people until i get to the end at #22. the self check out lines on that end were shorter (praise black jesus!) so i hopped in line thinking it wouldn't take long. wrong! one pet peeve of my is folks taking all day to check out - in my line there were these two guys and little lady up front. the guys had two items each...what i can't figure is why it took so long for them to ring up those two items. the little lady had a cart, with probably 10 items in it. why did this woman take 2 items out of the cart at a time, then she'd scanned the item, and stand there looking at the screen as if something else was going to magically happen. *sigh* i hadn't eaten all day (yeah, that's my fault) but as each minute passed i grew weaker and weaker waiting for this slow as woman to check out. finally she took out her credit card and was ready to pay but she couldn't figure out how to operate the key pad. omg! all i can't think is lady if you don't get the ##$%##@ outta here, i'm gonna scream.

so here's my public service announcement...if yo a.z.z can't operate the self check out register at wal-mart of any store for that matter, please go to another register...or do us all a favor and go to another store!

but on the bright side...thank you to the young man outside of wal-mart who told me i had a pretty smile! it made my day... :-D

it must be in the water...

i've bumped into at least 3 other pregnant women here at work besides my co-worker who sits in my area. it must be the water. lol. they are all in different phases of pregnancy, but i'm just gonna stay away from the water, ya know - just in case.

my co-worker is jumping up and down every hour to go to the bathroom. she attributes that to pregnancy...naw partna, i think its the 3 bottles of water that you drank in the last 2 hours. i mean, i'm no doctor, but at 5wks, the baby is at best a speck and shouldn't cause you to run to the bathroom that much. but those are just my thoughts, what do i know?

that's my mama...

i love my mama! i mean, she does get on my nerves sometimes, but she is a damn fool! and my best friend. i'm so glad that she raised me and was one of those mama's who didn't mind sending you outside to get a switch or even a belt and wearing that a*z*z out! she wasn't concerned with trying to be my friend, her concern was raising me to be a healthy, strong, independent and capable woman. it makes me sad when i look at some mothers today who are so concerned about being their child's friend they forgot to raise the child.

my mom and i were talking about my younger cousin. she was taken from her mother at 3, raised by her grandma, ignored by her sperm donor (my cousin) and resented by her aunt. now this child is 16/17, she's tried to commit suicide, she's been sent to live with her uncle, ran away with some man, and almost dropped out of school. i feel sad for her.

i want children someday, but it scares me sometimes to think that my kids may turn out like my cousin. and this morning i saw a girl walking to the bus stop and she had at least 3 kids in tow and she looked so tired and worn out. i just don't want to end up in that position - tired, angry, resentful... i don't think i'd put myself in that situation but honestly you never know what situation in life you'll be in.

oh really...and other random thoughts

i got to work today and my co-workers were standing around talking. so i just go to my seat and try to get the day started. then one of them says here, take a look at this picture and omg, its a ultrasound, she's preggers. wow, she just got married 4 months ago and already she's expecting. so i guess i'm happy. eh, i guess i should be right?

so you know where my mind is...i won't even bother mentioning it here now. doesn't matter.

might have to bake those cupcakes today, its just one of those days.

i read over my old posts and i never realized how many times i use the word "so" to either start a sentence or as part of a sentence/paragraph. what's up with that? hmm...

this year has gone by so quickly, i mean i didn't really realize it until i got a call from my dentist to remind me of my 6mo checkup/cleaning. my last cleaning was in april, that just seems like a lifetime ago.

gotta get up and be at work at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow. i have a lot to do and take care of before i leave. i'm dreading the thought of even being at work at 7:00am. over the last 2 months i've gone from getting to work at 7:30am to getting there between 8:00 - 8:30 am. i must do better and get back on that early schedule.

another monday bites the dust...and other ramblings

as i was driving down independence blvd on my way home from work today, i saw a billboard with some cupcakes on it. so i stopped by wally world and picked up all the ingredients i'd need to make a dozen cupcakes. i won't bake them today but believe me, i will soon.

totally random - i am addicted to cheddar cheese & sour cream lays and ruffles baked chips.

today was a good day! i don't know when the last time i actually said that was or if i've said it ever. but work was the same and i still had a good day.

dinner club - so i'd been thinking about starting an african american dinner club for a while for newcomers to charlotte like me or those who aren't so new but would like to network and meet new people. so far there's a total of 4 people (including me) that are interested. i wanted to start off with 5 so i'll send an invite to the few people i know here and see what happens. so far, i'm excited.

ah well, let me get ready to watch i love new york 2 on vh1. this should give me a good laugh...speaking of very ghetto fab people, while in wally world i noticed a pregnant chick in the frozen food section. now, i'm not exactly a fashionista, but i damn sure know that what i saw wasn't cute - AT ALL! her hair was a dirty, weavy, orange mess. her pants were too small and i guess a little tight on her belly so she had them unbuttoned, and her shirt was 2 sizes too small. but i'm sure she thought she looked fly. it was so embarrassing and i didn't even know the chick. i just wish that "we" would think sometimes before we go out in public, i mean you don't have to be dressed in designer clothes from head to toe but at least look presentable.


i really just want to climb in the bed right now and curl up and go to sleep...but if i do i'll miss the nonsense on prime time tv

coming soon to a theater near you...

so in the next few months there are a few good movies coming out...because it costs so much to go to a movie these days (and i'm talking about a ticket only, not including the cost of anything extra like a drink or popcorn or candy)i have to be selective about what i see so i don't waste money. so below are a few movies i want to see:

tyler perry's "why did i get married?"



denzel washington in "american gangster" - i love me some denzel!



"we own the night" - i am a big mark wahlberg fan and liked joaquin phoenix from his role as johnny cash

*drooling* mmmmm....

this pic inspires me to go out and buy the ingredients to make a dozen or so cupcakes. i love sweets, not much of a chocolate fan, but i love stuff like cakes, cupcakes, and pies (well only apple and the crust of peach cobblers)...




my cousin got married back in july and his bride (now wife) had several tiers of cupcakes instead of a traditional wedding cake. i've seen that before but i always think its such an inspired idea to do something out of the norm.

to me, cupcakes take you back to a point when you were a kid, back to being in school and someone's mom baked them for a class party.

bruised but not broken

i heard this song on a radio station last week and it hit home for me, it's officially my anthem...

listen to the song and the lyrics. i'm sure it's a place that we've all been in at one time or another.

lazy day...

so i woke up this morning at 1:52am, seems that my neighbor was having a party or something and wanted to blast their music. that's one of the things i hate about apartment living. but anywho, i stayed up and surfed the net until about 3:30am and fell asleep at 4:00am. the good thing about waking up is that i realized in my rush to leave work yesterday i forgot to take care of something for my co-worker who left early and whose desk i had to cover. so i got up at 10:00 and got dressed and went back to work to take care of that. i hate dropping the ball, but i hate it even more when it's something work related.

so i picked up my book at borders, browsed around for a few, walked in the mall and then came home. i stopped by value city which is down the right from my apartment. i'd never been in a value city before, honestly, its overrated. i hate going into stores where i have to look through stuff that i don't want to find what i'm looking for. but i did find a few pairs of earrings at a really reasonable price.

so i don't know what i'll do tomorrow but i hope the next week or so goes by really fast. my birthday is approaching at the end of the month and i'm looking forward to it because i have some time off from work.

finally...

its friday. i have been wishing for this one day the entire week and it's finally here! i'm so tired! work was work, although i thought today would have been uneventful, fat chance. it wasn't. same old stuff, just a different day.

usually on the weekends i just relax at home, sometimes i don't even bother going out. i'm a homebody and i don't mind staying at home, some folks would see that as me being anti-social but that's not it. i think tomorrow i'm going to try and get out and enjoy myself. i have a book i've wanted to start reading so i'll head to borders books and hang around there for a bit (who knows what else i might pick up) and there's an african american history museum near the part of charlotte that i stay in so i might head over there and see what's up with that.

if i don't end up doing anything, i'll stay in and finish the homework that due for my online course. but i'm going to make an effort to get out.

thirsty thursday...

wow! what.a.day! i went to work expecting, well i don't know what i was expecting, but i got thrown a major curve ball. so i have a one-on-one meeting with my manager (we do this every 2 weeks) and she tells me that since my previous team lead has moved on to another position, she'll look to me as the sr. recruiting coordinator to move into her role. whaaaaat? totally not expected and i'm thinking is this something i can do, take lead, be in charge? it will definitely require me to come out of my comfort zone - to speak up, take charge, be a leader. i've never been in that position before and i've always been comfortable being in the background. now i guess things have to change.

i had another call with my manager's manager, well we all did. she told us to be upfront and honest about how we felt about the company and our manager. well, i was and it felt good to speak up.

humpday...

well, it's almost friday again and i'm so glad. don't know if i can take many more days like the last few, but i'll make it. so, i'm at work and i absolutely get so frustrated with the team of people that i work with. they're supposed to be professional but yet everything thing is always so last minute. i'm just like damn, for once can i get the information i need in a reasonable amount of time? please, pretty please? if i email you on monday and tell you what i need, and you respond that you're going to send that info either that same day or the next day and its a day later and i still don't have it -- what's the problem? ugh!!! don't get me wrong i am so thankful to have a job because there are alot of people out there that don't, but i am just so tired of being put in a position where everything is so freaking last minute. and it doesn't help to reach out to these people and say i need this, this, and that. they say things will change but in the end all it does is remain the same.

ok, i won't complain anymore (well not in this post at least). once again i have to say i'm ready for the weekend, i mean really ready. i don't care what i do this weekend and long as i'm away from work and the people that annoy me most.

hectic tuesday...

i thought today was going to be full of drama, but thankfully everything worked out ok at work with my interviews in atlanta. sometimes i get so worked up about everything working out perfectly that i stress myself out - heck who am i kidding, its most of the time. so anyway, the group of women that sit i work with & me are finally starting to get along better. i'm not a hard person to get along with anyway, it just takes a while before i warm up to some people. i think the thing that we have most in common is that we all know our manager (who thankfully is virtual and sits in texas) is sheisty! i mean, you ask her a question, she answers with a question (and i am famous for doing that but on my own time not on someone else's time). she conveniently provides information to us that would only suit her purpose and we are treated like step children.

so since i got to work this morning at 7:30 am, i'm probably going to take a quick nap and then get up and work on assignments for my online class.

manic monday

that's what today was! i feel like i didn't accomplish anything that i needed to at work. i hate days like this because i feel like i'm going in circles. it doesn't help that the group of people i work with can never make up their mind and they want to wait until the last minute. hopefully tomorrow will be better, but i have interviews running in atlanta and on top of that the receptionist double-booked rooms with me and someone else, so tomorrow i have to try and get to work at the crack of dawn and try to straighten this out. pray for me, because i think this is gonna turn out to be a hot mess! but i'm trying to be positive.

so i'm really looking forward to this weekend, not sure what i'll be getting into, but i can't wait.

on the bright side, there are 26 days until my birthday!!!!