good nights rest!

is just what i needed. i never realized how cranky i can get or sullen i act when i haven't gotten enough sleep. i woke up at 6:30 friday morning and didn't sleep until i got home (to mebane) at 12:00am. then i woke up accidentally at 5:17am thinking it was really 6:17am to get ready to go to the hair salon. imagine my surprise when i tipped outta the house and got in the car and realized 1)it took me less than 20mins to get dressed 'cause i thought i was late and 2)that it was only 5:34am :( . So yesterday after being at the beauty salon for 4hrs, driving from durham back to mebane and then to burlington to see my brother's new house, let's just say i wasn't in the best of moods. i was t-i-red!!! so i when i finally got back to charlotte around 5pm, i crawled in my bed and took a 4 hour nap, woke up, turned all the lights off and crawled back into bed, woke up again at 1am, got a drink and went right back to sleep. i woke up this morning at 10:46am and i feel so much better. i feel really well rested. next weekend i'm on a mission to do absolutely nothing. i'm going to find a good book, curl up in my favorite chair and take it easy!


later today i'll have to call my mom and apologize because i left and didn't get to spend much time with her and for my mood.

so glad

that i'm comfortable (somewhat) with who i am. last night i had dinner with a "friend" actually an associate. i believe this person is a genuine person, but honestly, if i wasn't as comfortable with myself i would have been truly offended at some of the things she said to me. first off, we were going to a step show together, but she wanted to get something to eat. i told her that i had to go home and change (basically cause it was a really casual friday for me). when she saw me, she said..."oh no, you can't go with me looking like that." now, i realize i was really, really dressed down but i also had no intention of going anywhere repping my org looking like i did. if i didn't learn anything else in during my process, i learned that when i am repping my sorority, i must look good because i am no longer 1shylady, once i became a member i became 1shylady "the xyz." that was the first thing. secondly, i kept being told that i never leave my house to do anything fun. i think that's relative, because everyone's definition of fun is different. i realize that i need to get out more, but i don't know too many people here yet, so i do other things that i enjoy. the third thing was that she was i was reserved, but in an uptight way. i really tried to explain that i'm just quiet, but once i get to know someone i open up. there's nothing wrong with being reserved and quiet. but i hope she doesn't mistake my reserved, quiet nature as weakness, because i'm not weak. fourth thing, as we are leaving the restaurant, she sees my bag, see that i have on track pants and sneakers and says that i am way too old to be dressing like that. she then proceeds to try and school me on the lessons of business and dressing professionally. sure, i could've said - dammit, leave me alone, i dress professionally when i want to but today i wasn't feeling it so i didn't. but i didn't say anything, i just let her talk. i like this person, but somethings that i've witnessed about her just makes me feel like i don't want to be around her. but, in trying to be "my sister's keeper" i will continue to make attempts to get to know this person and understand where she is coming from and why she is like she is.

but, in the end, i'm so glad that i am who i am and i like who i am. sure sometimes i have bad days, but for the most part 1shylady is the isht!! :)

totally unexpected

i got an email that was totally unexpected today. i don't know how to feel about it, whether its excited, unsure, scared...whatever. if this happens everything that i've planned up until now will change...but wasn't i talking about change in my last post, lol? so maybe i need to stop trying to plan my life according to what i want and just let Him "make it work" - yes i am quoting tim gunn from project runway (i love him!).

so on another note, i really hate living with "knee"groes sometimes. so i'm sitting here not more than and our ago and i keep hearing someone slam their apt door. i'm thinking, what the hayle? they really need to control that. so i step out out onto my patio to see what's going on and its my next door neighbor's daughter's boyfriend and i mean boy. apparently he got kicked out of their apt and they wouldn't give him his keys so he kept kicking the door. its none of my business, but i have issues with the whole thing 1) because the moma let this boy sleep over and stay in her house as if he was her own child 2) because they kept yelling about respect, but this whole situation started out without any respect (for boundaries) so now its a little too late to talk about r-e-s-p-e-c-t! but again, that's just me, its not my business.

i can't wait until friday!! i'm getting my hair fixed this weekend(yeah that sounds real country but hey what can i say, i'm a country girl) - if you knew me and had seen me over the last 4 weeks you would be excited too, lol! but anyway, since i'm about the officially turn 35 i want to change up somethings. so why not start with my hair. it's sort of like my security blanket. yeah, that probably sounds silly but hey, it is what it is. i want to get it cut, of course not to short because i'm not trying to do anything too drastic yet but this is a start. almost 4 months ago, i originally wanted to get it cut but chickened out. so we're going to try this again. when i told my beautician, she was like "you're gonna what?" but she'll do what i want in the end so i'm not worried. so i'm already cute, i'll just be cute with shorter hair, lol. *crossing my fingers that i can go through with it this time*

totally random thoughts

I spent time with Sorors this weekend and I had a good time. Sometimes it's so nice to do something different than your normally do, spend time with people that you normally don't get to hang out with. I started thinking, I have to do better. I mean really, I need to get out more, meet new people and do something. It's often easier for me to just do nothing, because its the safe option. But really, is being safe and doing the safe thing what life is really about? Nah, I'm starting to think it's not the route I want to go anymore. In 1 month, 4 days I will be 35. Damn, I'm getting old, but I don't feel any older and I don't regret anything that I've done up until now. But I do want to do more, I want to travel, I want to get out, I want to have fun and I'm going to start doing just that.


This is a totally random post. But I was flipping channels and Joel Osteen was on. He is one of my favorite tel-evangelists. Maybe it's in the way he speaks or maybe when I hear him talk he's saying what I need to hear at the right time. So today as I turned my TV, I heard "Your time is coming, you are a victor and not a victim - the promise is in you. God had a plan to bring your plan to pass." This is something to think about because right now at my age, I am thinking about marriage and children. I haven't met the person I'm supposed to be with but I keep getting told that this is my season and my time will come. I need this message today because as much as I think it's not going to happen, as much as I want it now because I'm getting old, I have to believe that my time is coming and I will meet the person God has ordained me to be with and have the family that I want. I just have to keep what he said in mind.


Over the past few months I have felt that it is my time, things are going to happen and change will take place in my life. But I do realize I have to do something, I can't just sit around and wait for something good to drop in my lap or at my front door.