the "talk"...

i was reading the local paper and came across an article about a school system postponing abstinence education to allow time to review parental comments about the new program.

how many of you remember "the talk?" i remember it like it was yesterday, even though thankfully it wasn't, lol. i remember in the 5th grade getting the permission slip to watch the sex ed film and having my mom sign it so i could watch. not sure what i was excited about, i guess it was the unknown and the fact the 2 of my classmates had gotten their periods so i wanted to know what all the fuss was about (hmm, if i only knew then what know now, lol). anyway, that was 5th grade back in the early 80's. my first of a total of 3 sex ed discussions at school. there was one in the 8th grade and another in the 9th grade and that was it, i was on my own. i don't remember having a talk with my mom about sex, i just got a stern warning "don't do it." that's it. i took that to heart and that was it. i never worried or thought about it again until i became much, much older. i was never pressured into doing anything that i didn't want to do in order to become popular, to be part of the crowd or the famous "well, everyone else is doing it so i will too." that seems like a lifetime ago because clearly times and kids have changed.

i guess i wrote all that to explain my confusion about parents talking to their children about sex and abstinence. i mean, i don't have kids. like i said, i never had the talk with my mom, but if i do have kids some day i want to be open and honest with them and let them know that abstinence is the best policy but should they decide not to abstain they do have several different choices to protect themselves from pregnancy and stds. i know parents want to protect their children at all costs, shelter them from hurt, harm, and danger but i also believe in being prepared. by teaching only abstinence its like saying things don't happen. i know they do. why not prepare them with all the facts and allow them to make their own informed choice and no matter what the choice tell them you will be there for them for support and encouragement no matter what happens. what is the hang-up with talking about sex in this day and age. do we not remember what it was like when we were young? i think some parents block out what they did back in the day, they ignore it or they don't talk about it thinking they are protecting their children. nah, you're not. the one thing that my mom did talk about was getting pregnant at 18 and having to drop out of school. by talking to me about that experience, i was determined not to have the same thing happen to me and repeat that cycle of being a teenage mother.

i believe in the merits of sex education in school but i also believe any type of education starts at home first. start talking to kids at an early age about their anatomy and any feelings they may be experiencing. parents should show their kids that they're open to frank discussions about the subject. maybe if there were more discussions at home the teenage pregnancy rate wouldn't be so high. maybe the cycle of teenage mother hood wouldn't keep repeating itself. maybe the growing rate of std's in the community, particularly in the african american community wouldn't be where they are.